Episode 94 - It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Superman: The Musical (1975)

Enough of these dreary, grimdark Supermen! Let's go back to the carefree days of 1975 to a sprightly supermusical, featuring singing gangsters, colour(less) sets, and... Superman committing suicide?

How close is Perry White's musical newsroom to Andrew's actual newroom? (pretty close) Why doesn't anyone like Robert Altman's Popeye?  Is this musical setting Superman up as an opposing force to "the American way"? What the hell is the difference between tights and leggings?

Does the phenomenological study of Superman as a concept make for compelling podcasting? We'll find out today, in the musical brought to you by the guys that wrote the second draft for the Christopher Reeve Superman! PS: That's not that draft they went with.

Episode 92 - Masters of the Universe (1987)

It's Jack Kirby's 100th birthday, and despite being one of the most prolific and influential artists of the 20th century,  there are very few movies based on his work. Unless you count Abraxas, Star Wars, the upcoming Justice League and the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe.

So we took a look at a movie that was a secret adaptation of one of his most beloved and obtuse creations, the Fourth World, in the 1987 oddly un-he-man-ish He-Man movie, Masters of the Universe!

What to people eat on Eternia? Where are all the people in this town they're in? Why isn't Frank Langella getting an Oscar for this Skeletor performance?

C'mon, can you imagine "And the Oscar goes to Skeletor?" The WORLD would change. Also, check out the Hall of Great Justice for some Jack Kirby centennial reading!

Episode 84 - Justice League of America (1997)

We get out black market unreleased pilot dealer Jesse Codner to cut us some premium 90s with Superfriends! Wait, sorry, that should read Super F*R*I*E*N*D*S. It's 1997's Justice League of America!

What happens when a bunch of schlubby man-children are the worlds greatest heroes? Were selfies using full-size studio cameras with 90s snapchat filters that common a thing? Why David Krumholtz aged since 1997?

Listen to the episode that made Anthony turn to Andrew half way through watching and say "I hate our show."

Episode 82 - Wonder Woman (2017)

It's the movie that saved the DCCU!

We couldn't wait, and just dropped everything to go see Patty Jenkins' Wonder Woman in theatres! SPOILER! isn't in this, she's in the Bat-family. But Spoilers anyway.

Why/how/wherefore shoehorn the Greek Pantheon into a mismatched Judaeo-Christian monotheistic box?  How much should the political views of an actor or artist affect your experience of their work? Will we ever have more heavy-hitting female action protagonists than you can count on one hand? Is it possible to do a superhero/war movie in a war with no good guys or bad guys?

Are you going to find another stupid movie podcast that compares and contrasts Liberation Feminism with Equality feminism? No, you're not.

All this and Ainsley drops some knowledge bombs of Greek history and the mythology surrounding Amazons, while Anthony and Andrew weep at the prospect of eventually having to probably watch Batman v. Superman!

Episode 76 - Scooby Doo Meets Batman (1972)

For this terrifying tale of spooks, monsters, and money laundry, Justin Tucker from the upcoming Monster Squad Minute joins us to tackle one of the great legendary team-ups we never expected to see when Scooby Doo meets Batman and Robin!

Why does a cartoon have a laugh track? Is the Wayne Corporation in the business of putting well-meaning amusement parks out of business? How many Casey Kasem's can we cram into one cartoon? Was Joker a part of the Weapon X program? Just how hot are Anthony's attractive cousins?

Time to find out who the REAL world's greatest detective is: Batman v Velma Dinkley. Fight!

Episode 69 - Batman Forever (1995)

It's an all-new, all-different Batman when Joel Schumacher takes the reins for 1995's Batman Forever!

Is it redundant to have boiling acid as a trap,rather than just acid? What kind of paperwork do you have to go through to adopt a 40-year-old man? Does the frenetic neon-pop style of this movie mask a really nuanced take on childhood trauma?

Get ready for the big reveal of Andrew's secret Jim Carrey obsession, Anthony's appreciation of Robin's sweet threads, and Ainsley vanishing completely to go do something meaningful with her time and not have to watch Batman Forever!

Episode 58 - Wonder Woman (2011)

All the world is waiting for her! And we're going to have to keep waiting, because this 2011 Wonder Woman staring Adrianne Palicki is never, ever being released. Jesse Codner's back from our Green Lantern episode to talk about another pilot that crashed and burned.

What exactly is Wonder Woman's corporation in the business of, other than scholarships, baseless accusations, and sex dolls? Is this Wonder Woman more of a Trump or a Bush in regards to unilateral flouting of the law? Will we ever have a conversation about what Wonder Woman's all about that goes beyond whether or not she wears pants?

Finally, we get to listen to what what three men have to say about about the pros and cons of the greatest female superhero of all. Ugh. Sorry. Spoilers: Adrianne Palicki was a great Wonder Woman. Spoilers? The script. That's what spoiled it.

Episode 57 - Batman Begins (2005)

The transformation of the superhero into James Bond that was started in Condorman (yay) comes to fruition with 2005's Batman Begins.

How is this movie just a long-form adaptation of a ethical thought experiment called the Trolley Problem? Why on Earth is Ken Watanabe such a poor judge of friends? How badly does Bruce Wayne fail at sticking to his own morals? And welcome back to the show Liam Neeson as fearsome Irish ninja Ra's O'Ghul.

Andrew and Anthony are more than men now, they are a symbol. An idea. How did they power this transition? With FEAR. Because all creatures fear, and the idea of fearful symbols that men fear just frigging cannot be killed. Therefore, we are using our newfound unkillability to just pig out on wings all day and not even care.

Episode 50 - Superman: The Movie (1978)

It's our 50th episode! And we're spoiling ourselves by watching one of the greatest entries in the superhero movie genre and immediately questioning its place on top... Superman: The Movie!

Is this movie the best Superman comic that we've yet made? Why does Jor El care about inspiring an alien race when his whole planet is dying? If you were trying to blend in at a '70s newsroom, why play a bumbling, attention-grabbing anachronism?  And the fact that Otis sounds like the Jawas aside, how perfect is John Williams' score in this?

So join us, you diseased maniacs, as we celebrate our fiftieth show!

Episode 48 - Project A-Ko (1986)

Superman and Wonder Woman had a daughter. And all she wants is to get to school on time once in a while. But all these bullies, martial artists, killer robots, and alien invasions keep getting her stuck in detention. No Time for Heroics tackles its first anime movie and gets tackled back by Project A-Ko!

Is this just a long-form Warner Brothers cartoon dressed in fighting robot clothes? Whose project is this anyway? And why, why all the cartoon boobs? Even some of the guys have cartoon boobs. Japan. Why.

There's a dearth of female superheroes in North America, so we're heading across the pond. Okay, maybe a couple ponds. It's the 30th anniversary of Project A-Ko, and we're starting the party by remembering that Project A-Ko exists!

Episode 46 - The Death and Return of Superman (1994)

Welcome to an episode of No Time for Heroics that is THE SAME... yet somehow changed... as we head back to 16 bit world of Super Nintendo and the superhero-killing world of 1994 with the Death and Return of Superman.

What does a game (and storyline) in which Superman kills two people say about him as a hero? Could Sonic Blast Man be a member of Kickers Inc.? Is it a fashion faux pas to say you liked leather jacket era Superboy? Did anyone get that Kickers Inc. reference?

In the course of recording this episode, both Anthony and Andrew died, and were replaced by four impostors. Oh wait, isn't that eight impostors? That's probably too many. Also, we totally had extra mans, so it was no biggie.

Episode 41 - The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened? (2015)

Come back with us to a time when newspapers had the death of Superman on the front page (beneath the fold) and Nicolas Cage was prime non-skullfaced hero potential with a documentary about what could have been, The Death of Superman Lives.

Is it possible that Superman Lives would've been a better movie than the ones we got? What is it about Kevin Spacey that makes everyone want to cast him as Lex Luthor? Are we the only ones okay with a movie in which Superman fights a giant space spider? How many people not in this movie have put Tim Burton in a headlock?

And hey, now that you've heard the episode, you should check out the documentary if you haven't already! You can pick it up in the format of your choice right here. It's a real labour of love on the part of director Jon Schnepp, so head over there and help support it!

Episode 39 - Green Lantern (2011)

Artist Jesse Codner is on the show to teach us the ways of Ryan Reynolds. Those ways are green and fibrous. At least according to 2011's Green Lantern.

Why is "xenobiologist" a profession in a world that has never encountered aliens? At what CG effects saturation point does a live action movie just become a cartoon? Is it necessary for a hero to be a mess that treats women as disposable sex toys to be truly heroic?

Too bad this movie did so poorly. Now they'll never let Ryan Reynolds start in another superhero movie. Oh well!

Episode 35 - Man of Steel (2013)

On this episode we get to torture Andrew by making him once again watch 2013's DC cinematic universe founding slobbery smish-fest, Man of Steel!

Is it possible to make a good Superman movie without a superhero in it? Does it add a lot to Jor El's character to have him do HALO drops from a dragon (electric guitar squeal)? And speaking of Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, could it be a better idea to just debut a universe of familiar heroes in two movies rather than stretch it out for five or six of varying quality?

All this, plus a movie that dislikes Superman makes the best Superman injoke ever made! PS: We're spoiling Miracleman for you this episode too, amongst the usual stuff we spoil every episode. One thing we haven't spoiled? Spoiler, who got killed by a power drill. Oh, shoot...

Episode 33 - The Adventures of Captain Marvel (1941)

No Time for Heroics is going back to the source and checking out the first superhero to ever make the leap from page to screen in 1941's The Adventures of Captain Marvel.

What's the theology of an American superhero with Judeo-Hellenic powers coming from an Egyptian tomb in Siam? What do Billy Batson's friends and Downton Abbey have in common? Have we improved on superhero movies in the last seventy years since this came out? Oh man, what if we haven't? There's suddenly a lot of pressure on this episode. Yikes.

I'll be back in a sec, I've gotta go deliver this scorpion to the Scorpion. He's over on the peak of the Scorpion. Hope he doesn't get stung. It's bee season.

Episode 32 - Catwoman (2004) with The Loose Canon Podcast

On this episode, Caroline Fulford of the Loose Canon Podcast is here to calmly talk us down off the ledge we got out on when we accidentally caught sight of 2004's Halle Berry-starring Catwoman.

Is this Catwoman just a closet Cosmo Sex Tip writer? Could a thesis based entirely on immortal magical cat magic stand up to peer review? Is the moral of this story that women can never truly be free of patriarchy unless they get superpowers? And why the hell is this the only female-centric superhero movie of the twenty-first century?

Only the host of Loose Canon can helps us survive the most loosely canonical movie of them all!

Plus: Anthony uses Catwoman to curse his friends! WHAT A PAL.

Episode 24 - Swamp Thing (1982)

This muck-encrusted mockery of a podcast we take a look at Wes Craven's pre-Nightmare on Elm Street DC Comics adaptation Swamp Thing.

Is Alec Holland married to his sister in this? Why couldn't we have an awesome "Swamp Thing and Jude" spin off? Does Bruno's shirt possess an animalistic thirst for survival at the end of the movie? Who are any of these people?

This podcast is played as intricately and precisely as a perfect game played by a genius chess master. So jam it in your ears and lets visit the rubberiest of heroes, Swamp Thing!

Episode 22 - Batman Returns (1992)

Enter into our Clown-Bird-Ice-Lair and help us flush it and flaunt it as the guys watch 1992's Christmas classic, Batman Returns.

Why does this movie have a bigger budget than the first one but only one set? You meet a psycho-murderer crime boss who's very sensitive about his bird-like deformities and all you think to do is give him a raw fish like he's a seal? Is this entire movie just an extended meditation on oppression by, and aspiring to, authority?

In all seriousness though? As great as Michelle Pfeiffer's performance as Catwoman is, there is way more going on around her in this movie than we noticed in 1992. It's worth a rewatch just for the meticulous deconstruction of patriarchy and feminism in her arc.

Honestly, want an in-depth exploration this movie's othering of femaleness and its subsequent violent reaction in the context of a heteronormative society? Check out this episode! Want jokes? That's here too! But you're probably better off with our Power Rangers episode, maybe. Just a warning.

Episode 17 - Supergirl (2015)

It's our most current episode ever, as the guys check out the series that HE told us to watch with the first two episodes of the newly released Supergirl television series!

Where do all these crabby humans and inept spies get off telling a super-being how to be super? Is it that big a stretch that a girl could be good at things? Why is it considered blasphemy to say 'Superman'? Can one charismatic lead in a killer outfit, and a pack of incredible action scenes, carry an entire series?

There's an awful lot of weight given to male pronouns in this series about a woman. But it's okay,cause HE told us this series would be good. And if anyone knows good it's HIM. That's just what HIM does. You know HE, cause HIM good and great as HE heroic deeds suggest. 

Episode 5 - Batman (1989)

Gentlemen! Let's broaden our minds!

Pack your grappling hooks in with all your other wonderful toys, because on this episode our dynamic duo dives headfirst into a boiling vat of Tim Burton's Batman!

Did Batman kill more people than the Joker over the course of this movie? Is Vicki Vale only investigating Bruce Wayne because he's constantly assaulting her? Is this sleek, jet-powered Batmobile so perfect as to replace the Condorman car chase in our hearts? And what the heck does "never rub another man's rhubarb" mean anyway?

Find out the answers to most of those (Rhubarb... still no idea.) and more as the guys talk entirely too much about Batman! Relax, enjoy, just whatever you do, don't try to slightly turn your head to the side.

PLUS! We're not going to kill you. We want you to tell all your friends about us. What are we? On facebook!

Editor's Note: We record these weeks in advance, but just before this episode came out, we got word that the Baltimore Batman himself, Leonard Robinson, died in a car accident.

If you haven't heard of him, Leonard built himself a screen-accurate Batman costume and went around to children's hospitals visiting sick kids, and giving away up to $25,000 in Batman toys, t-shirts and comics to them every year, out of his own pocket.

You know those "Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman" memes going around a while back? Leonard Robinson decided he could be Batman. And he made the world a better place for it.

This episode is for Leonard.