Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Episode 66 - Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010)

Anthony finally gets his wish and gets to do the movie he's been waiting for since before episode one: Scott Pilgrim vs the World!

Is it possible to make a comic, (or a work in any soundless medium) about music? On the other hand, can you adapt comics as a medium to a movie if the original was adapting video games as a medium to comics? What is the best hipster movie of all time? Does is make more sense for Scott to end up with Knives?

Is this a superhero movie? Our listeners say yes. Andrew says no! Plus: just wait till we talk about the book without the game in the movie of the book. You're going to really regret asking us to talk about this.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Episode 65 - Superted (1982)

It's been a rough 2016, so we're treating ourselves to a month of Christmas wishes, starting with Andrew's wish: one of his childhood VHS rentals all the way from Wales, Superted!

Will we discover the secret of Superted's secret word? How many Doctor Who mainstays can we fit into this cast? How big of a rascal is former Secretary General of Egyptian Antiquities Zahi Hawass? And what the heck is up with hibernation? That's a bear's REAL superpower.

Come visit Planet Spot: "It's sort of a Smurf thing!" Then come back for Anthony's Christmas wish next week, revealed at the end of this episode!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Episode 64 - Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

NOVENGERS concludes with our reevaluation of the much maligned sequel to Marvel's The Avengers, the substantially more sensibly titled Avengers: Age of Ultron (Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire).

Is Age of Ultron an underrated, better put together movie than the better received first installment in this series? Has Stan Lee reached Stanception here by taking credit for Jack Kirby's war record as well as his comics? How often can you point out that the heroes are irresponsible city-destroying living disasters before we stop rooting for them? Does a SHIELD spy contract come with a starter family and farmhouse all inclusive?

PLUS! We rewrite half the movie to give it a facelift. Also, some weird sound stuff happens for a bit in the middle of this one, but not for long! Not even for as long as Quicksilver lasted in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Thanks Joss!

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Episode 63 - The Avengers (2012)

This is it! One of the biggest, most ambitious superhero movies ever made, it changed the business and made "shared universe" the watchwords for green-eyed Hollywood producers for years to come. The epic finale of Novengers begins with The Avengers 2012!

Are the Chitauri the perennial alien-ex-machina of the Marvel universe? Which media mogul just called up a tv station he owned to order them to play nothing but 60s Spider-man all day? Who is the Wonder Woman of the Avengers? And exactly how much of this plot just had no reason for being other than looking cool or building to a good line? Not that we're complaining... okay, well, not that people who aren't named Anthony are complaining.

This movie might cut a little close to home, with a boorish, self-centered billionaire saving us all and beat the most heroic among us to the punch. Oops! All this and a special dispatch from our girl in the field, Jill Butler! Also Loki. Rawr.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Episode 62 - Captain America (1990)

Get ready for a huge steaming pile of Cap!

For part two of NOVENGERS, the crew takes on their most requested movie and checks out the infamous 1990 feature Captain America.

Is Cap a bad enough dude to rescue the President? Is Italian Red Skull spending his spare time tickling the ivories of a nuclear piano? And are we finally seeing a Marvel  Comics/ Condorman crossover!?

Happy Election day America! Let's hope you make the right decision at the polls and vote where it really counts: for No Time for Heroics on iTunes!

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Episode 61 - Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD (1998)

It's the first episode of NOVENGERS as all this month the crew checks out Avengersish movies leading up to our two-part Avengers/Avengers 2 spectacular! First up, this ain't not your daddy's Nick Fury with David Hasselhoff slipping into the eyepatch to give 'er a whirl for the 1998 tv movie Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD

Is there ever any reason to built a cryo-prison? How bad does Hasselhoff need to pee? Why do Ainsley and Anthony know so much about tree frogs?

Find out in part one of NOVENGERS!

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Episode 60 - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors (1987)

It's Halloween! And around these parts, we like to spook it spook it.

So this episode the crew steps a little outside their genre and matches wits with the bastard son of horror and superheroics: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors!

Is this whole series a metaphor for an older generation attempting to impose rules and ideals on the younger?  Does the NT4H crew have the dream powers it'll take to take down Freddy Krueger?

Plus! Could Wolverine take Freddy? Could Jason take Michael Meyers? Not in a Manhattan way, like pugilistically speaking.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Episode 59 - Spawn (1997)

For our official Creepy Clown Watch 2016 episode, we welcome back Ainsley Hawthorn and invite her to become the Hermione of our podcast team (and argue over who's Ron enough to take the heat) just in time to throw her in at the deep end with a good old-fashioned Halloween hazing, forcing her to watch 1997's Spawn.

How many sheiks does a party need for it to tip over into being an evil party? How tall is Martin Sheen? Why the heck isn't Michael Jai White starring in all the movies?

Come back to the hey-day of Wizard Magazine, variant covers, and a plucky little upstart comic company that stood up for the noble idea that an artist could own and profit from their work, took that momentum and made Spawn with it.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Episode 58 - Wonder Woman (2011)

All the world is waiting for her! And we're going to have to keep waiting, because this 2011 Wonder Woman staring Adrianne Palicki is never, ever being released. Jesse Codner's back from our Green Lantern episode to talk about another pilot that crashed and burned.

What exactly is Wonder Woman's corporation in the business of, other than scholarships, baseless accusations, and sex dolls? Is this Wonder Woman more of a Trump or a Bush in regards to unilateral flouting of the law? Will we ever have a conversation about what Wonder Woman's all about that goes beyond whether or not she wears pants?

Finally, we get to listen to what what three men have to say about about the pros and cons of the greatest female superhero of all. Ugh. Sorry. Spoilers: Adrianne Palicki was a great Wonder Woman. Spoilers? The script. That's what spoiled it.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Episode 57 - Batman Begins (2005)

The transformation of the superhero into James Bond that was started in Condorman (yay) comes to fruition with 2005's Batman Begins.

How is this movie just a long-form adaptation of a ethical thought experiment called the Trolley Problem? Why on Earth is Ken Watanabe such a poor judge of friends? How badly does Bruce Wayne fail at sticking to his own morals? And welcome back to the show Liam Neeson as fearsome Irish ninja Ra's O'Ghul.

Andrew and Anthony are more than men now, they are a symbol. An idea. How did they power this transition? With FEAR. Because all creatures fear, and the idea of fearful symbols that men fear just frigging cannot be killed. Therefore, we are using our newfound unkillability to just pig out on wings all day and not even care.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Episode 56 - Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer (1985)

After a year of offstage shout-outs, citations and cameos, Ainsley Hawthorn comes on the show to complete the Hawthorn collectors set, and also to talk about the 1985 animated spectacular Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer!

Does Rainbow Brite fit the definition of superhero? How is this movie a functional rebuke of Orwellian dystopia? Why can't anyone in Star Trek: The Next Generation figure out how to use a bed? And how many Akira tattoos does Anthony have secreted around his person?

PLUS! We rate history's greatest horses in our new, short lived, quickly off the rails segment "Horses More Magnificent Than the Most Magnificent Horse in the Universe"! We're still workshopping the title.

Get ready for a deluge of obscure references being described with even more obscure references as the team loses all touch with modern reality and dives into the pot-o-gold at the end of Rainbow! YAY RAINBOW!!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Episode 55 - Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Look folks, your hosts are old, okay? They're from the twentieth century. They remember video tapes and also when it was a hip idea that Tony Stark was dating Shannon Elizabeth. But they're not as old as Norse mythology, so they're going to stand next to Thor: The Dark World in public just to seem young and with-it by comparison and see how that goes.

What's the scale of technological development on a world that has laser guns but still uses swords and ox-drawn carts? Why is Natalie Portman's character, a doctor of physics with three degrees, written to speak like a tweenish babywoman? And if you are investing a few billion dollars into twenty movies and five or six television series to build up to an epic story about the Infinity Stones, why the hell can't you get even the colour of the stones right!?

Anyway, enjoy this second foray into Thor, hey? Or else Andrew and Anthony have to commit Norse Seppuku.

PS: The amazing Ring Cycle comic we are talking about which we did not have at hand and subsequently forgot all the details of is The Ring of Nibelung by P. Craig Russell (and not Charles Vess. Sorry. But you should go check it out.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Episode 54 - Stranger Things (2016)

Andrew and Anthony turn the superhero genre upside down and see what happens when instead of action and adventure you dial up the horror and existential dread with the superpowered sci-fi series Stranger Things!

What makes this story of a kid given strange powers by lab experiments and running away to have adventures different from 99% of Marvel comics? How is our reaction to Eleven formed by gendered archetypes we've been beating at since The Odyssey? And why the heck does everyone like Barb? She's pulling a reverse Friday the 13th! But hey, maybe there's a little Barb in all of us.

Welcome to the Kid Danger genre! Plus, the guys wax poetic about Stephen King's It, catch a powerful case of Anthony's Disease wishing the CG Demogorgon was a rubbery '80s abomination instead, and lose their sanity gazing into the impossible unknown of Katsuhiro Otomo's linework in Akira.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Episode 53 - The Rocketeer (1991)

This week we take to the skis! Sorry, skies. And blast off with the cult 1991 Disney adventure movie The Rocketeer!

How is it that a movie this in love with flying never got off the ground? Did Dave Stevens somehow grow Billy Campbell in a lab to look exactly like his drawings? Is Cliff Secord the living embodiment of male entitlement? And where does Andrew get off hosting a movie podcast when he has apparently seen next to no movies?

Tell him No Time for Heroics is back from vacation with new episodes. Tell him Howard Hughes said so.

PS; This one's in memory of Jon "Ten bucks a shot" Polito, who passed away just two days after we recorded this podcast praising his work. He joins a cast of top notch character actors. Enjoy!

PPS: Here's the books Anthony recommended at the end of the episode!

Five Came Back
The Collaboration

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Episode 52 - Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011)

Possibly a first in the history of podcasting, Andrew and Anthony get to take revenge on a fan for requesting a horrible movie this one time by forcing them to come on the show and watch that movie's sequel. Listener Meghan Murphy joins us to take on 2011's Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance!

 Would this movie have been better if the kid had been named Seamus O'Bullfighter? Is the moment when Ghost Rider turns a titanic industrial digger into a hell-machine the greatest moment in the history of cinema? And welcome to the show cave-dwelling, tattooed Christopher Lambert!

 PS: Don't look up that "first in the history of podcasting" thing from before, it's undoubtedly not true.

 PPS: The audio gets really screwed up for reasons unknown half way though. We're still trying to figure that one out. Though really we may have unintentionally replicated the experience of watching a Neveldine/Taylor movie, which is that it's really loud and kinda hard to follow, but if you do it's a pretty great time.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Episode 51 - Sinister Squad (2016)

Well, Suicide Squad is coming out... but it's expensive to go to the movies and also we don't wanna. So instead we sent a confused and put-upon mother to our local Blockbuster that no longer exists and had her rent the Suicide Squad ripping-off mockbuster Sinister Squad!

Isn't it redundant to have a personified Death that is trying to kill people? Why is the Pied Piper, the only character in this movie with mind control in his original fairy tale, the only one here without mind control powers? But the hundred-million dollar question: will this rip-off prove to be a better movie than Suicide Squad?

Help us carry on the grand tradition of mythpunk stories not really translating to the screen, and at the same time reset our ratings scale for movies that are really and truly poor with 2016's Sinister Squad!

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Episode 50 - Superman: The Movie (1978)

It's our 50th episode! And we're spoiling ourselves by watching one of the greatest entries in the superhero movie genre and immediately questioning its place on top... Superman: The Movie!

Is this movie the best Superman comic that we've yet made? Why does Jor El care about inspiring an alien race when his whole planet is dying? If you were trying to blend in at a '70s newsroom, why play a bumbling, attention-grabbing anachronism?  And the fact that Otis sounds like the Jawas aside, how perfect is John Williams' score in this?

So join us, you diseased maniacs, as we celebrate our fiftieth show!

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

ONE SHOT - Jack Kirby's 2001: A Space Odyssey

We talk a lot about comics becoming movies on the podcast. Here's a movie that became a comic, but in the process evolved into something truly ambitious and bizarre. This episode we read Jack Kirby's 2001 comics adaptation.

2001, a product of two geniuses in two different media, Stanley Kubrick in film and Arthur C. Clarke in print, filtered and translated through a third.

We're breaking format to take the ultimate trip and check out what happens when you take an already great work of art and hook it up to Kirby's dream machine.

In short, the new seed is the spirit of our own self belief. Think about it.

Pictured here: omgwtf

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Episode 49 - X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

We've got a special request to talk about X-Men Oranges Wolverine! So I guess that's what we're doing now.

Could we please have a movie where an actress of Lynn Collins caliber plays something more than a love interest who dies to motivate a dude? And oh man, Wolverine? Northwest Territories? Daniel Negreanu? Get ready for the most Canadian movie since Men with Brooms. Also get ready for more fakey French Canadian accents cause Gambit returns!

Spoilers? This movie has next to nothing to do with wolverines, which is disappointing as they're like totally badass out there in the woods. Oh well!

PS: It's our last full episode before our big 50th and also before we take a brief Summer vacation. Stay Tuned!

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Episode 48 - Project A-Ko (1986)

Superman and Wonder Woman had a daughter. And all she wants is to get to school on time once in a while. But all these bullies, martial artists, killer robots, and alien invasions keep getting her stuck in detention. No Time for Heroics tackles its first anime movie and gets tackled back by Project A-Ko!

Is this just a long-form Warner Brothers cartoon dressed in fighting robot clothes? Whose project is this anyway? And why, why all the cartoon boobs? Even some of the guys have cartoon boobs. Japan. Why.

There's a dearth of female superheroes in North America, so we're heading across the pond. Okay, maybe a couple ponds. It's the 30th anniversary of Project A-Ko, and we're starting the party by remembering that Project A-Ko exists!

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Episode 47 - Darkman (1990)

Andrew's been hurt before in his long-standing relationship with Sam Raimi. But maybe if they just get back together for an afternoon of Darkman (1990) and hash out their differences, they can make it work. Maybe?

If Darkman's masks degrade in the daylight, why does Darkman never do anything at night? Would it have made Durant a more evil-seeming villain if he was building dioramas of famous scenes from history out of taxidermied mice? How is it that Sam Raimi was so effectively able to turn Liam Neeson into Bruce Campbell, both literally and figuratively? And how the heck do 3D printers work!?

What is it about Darkman? What Secrets does he hold? We're going to find out today, but spoilers? Mostly those secrets are crispy and melodramatic.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Episode 46 - The Death and Return of Superman (1994)

Welcome to an episode of No Time for Heroics that is THE SAME... yet somehow changed... as we head back to 16 bit world of Super Nintendo and the superhero-killing world of 1994 with the Death and Return of Superman.

What does a game (and storyline) in which Superman kills two people say about him as a hero? Could Sonic Blast Man be a member of Kickers Inc.? Is it a fashion faux pas to say you liked leather jacket era Superboy? Did anyone get that Kickers Inc. reference?

In the course of recording this episode, both Anthony and Andrew died, and were replaced by four impostors. Oh wait, isn't that eight impostors? That's probably too many. Also, we totally had extra mans, so it was no biggie.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Episode 45 - Robin Hood (1973)

We're welcoming Disney Animators Ross Blocher (Frozen, Big Hero 6, and also of Oh No Ross and Carrie) and Dale Baer (of The Rescuers, The Lord of the Rings, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, The Lion King, and oh yeah, today's movie to name a few) for our first foray into the heroes of myth and legend with Disney's 1973 classic Robin Hood!

Why is Little John played by Baloo? Why did Walt Disney hate 101 Dalmatians? What's the terrible secret of Prince John's mother? What's the deal with Don Bluth?

It's legends talking legends as we get deep into the history of Robin Hood movies, cartoons, and the Walt Disney Animation department, post Walt Disney.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Episode 44 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Get ready for some high stakes espionage action as Andrew and Anthony welcome back Pepper Pistolwhip, (in her disguise as mild mannered Jill Butler) to talk about Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Would you watch a movie about Cap just reading a book about Watergate going "Guys, wtf?"And just what the heck is a Winter Soldier? Is it like a Summer Soldier, just in the Cold War? So what's Spring Soldier, like a mattress or something? OMG guys, sleeper cells!

All this plus Andrew's wife Ainsley tries to remember what the heck happened in this movie based on one viewing a while ago. Spoilers: Black Widow was in it.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Episode 43 - X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse (1994)

It's game night at No Time for Heroics, and the guys are checking out Capcom's 1994 beat-em-up X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse for the Super Nintendo.

Shouldn't Apocalypse be in the game with his name on it? How pleasurable would a surprise encounter with the Brood on some cheery day be? Who's the treasurer of the Hellfire Club? Why is Gambit so... so cool you guys?

Nothing can stop the Juggernaut! But we did, I guess. Join us as we jump on the bandwagon and do our very first video game review!

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Episode 42 - Kick Ass (2010)

On this episode the guys check out Mark Millar and Matthew Vaughn's IRL superhero "black comedy" Kick-Ass!

Is it possible to have a mafia that's just a whole room of Tony Sopranos? Is it necessary to have a minute long screed convincing us that teens masturbate at the drop of a hat? Does Hit Girl just serve as a catharsis ex machina? Why the hell hasn't Andrew seen Breakfast Club?

Roger Ebert said about this movie "Shall I have feelings, or should I pretend to be cool?" and I guess we don't haven any feelings either, because we're just the coolest cats around, dig? Not like Ebert cool. Cooler than a jet pack, but not as cool as Nicolas Cage doing an Adam West impression. (So cool).

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Episode 41 - The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened? (2015)

Come back with us to a time when newspapers had the death of Superman on the front page (beneath the fold) and Nicolas Cage was prime non-skullfaced hero potential with a documentary about what could have been, The Death of Superman Lives.

Is it possible that Superman Lives would've been a better movie than the ones we got? What is it about Kevin Spacey that makes everyone want to cast him as Lex Luthor? Are we the only ones okay with a movie in which Superman fights a giant space spider? How many people not in this movie have put Tim Burton in a headlock?

And hey, now that you've heard the episode, you should check out the documentary if you haven't already! You can pick it up in the format of your choice right here. It's a real labour of love on the part of director Jon Schnepp, so head over there and help support it!

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Episode 40 - X-Men (2000)

We take on The Strangest Super-Heroes of All (tm) and check out one of the movies responsible for making the cinema comic-friendly, 2000's X-Men.

What do Canadians do for fun that isn't beating people to pulp in a cage? What does this movie have to say of the influence of the home video market on theatrical cinema? Is "naked" a valid character choice?

 To ME my X-Listeners! Oh wait, that sounds like ex- listeners. And we don't want that at all! For we just love you all so very much.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Episode 39 - Green Lantern (2011)

Artist Jesse Codner is on the show to teach us the ways of Ryan Reynolds. Those ways are green and fibrous. At least according to 2011's Green Lantern.

Why is "xenobiologist" a profession in a world that has never encountered aliens? At what CG effects saturation point does a live action movie just become a cartoon? Is it necessary for a hero to be a mess that treats women as disposable sex toys to be truly heroic?

Too bad this movie did so poorly. Now they'll never let Ryan Reynolds start in another superhero movie. Oh well!

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Episode 38 - Sky High (2005)

Let's have some real talk, Americans. What the heck is a homecoming? Is it like a prom, only homier? That's just one of the questions stumping your Canadian hosts after watching 2005's Sky High.

Is this kid's Mom trying to get him hooked up with the school president? How does this manage to be Twilight before there was a Twilight?
Is this the biggest Kids in the Hall reunion in recent years? Why the heck isn't Kurt Russell starring in all the movies?

Enough of these broody, slaughtery modern heroes... let's get all bubble-gum popish with 2005's X-Men-Batman '66-Harry Potter mash-up, Sky High!

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Episode 37 - The Return of Captain Invincible (1983)

An ozsploitation superhero musical with Alan Arkin, Christopher Lee, and music from Richard O'Brien of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' fame? Sometimes the mere fact of a movie existing is a miracle in itself, and that's the case with 1983's forgotten collection of weirdness, the Return of Captain Invincible!

Did the folks that did The Incredibles just lift the beginning of this movie wholesale? Does every deli owner in Manhattan just have a machine gun fish lying around just in case? Can a movie with a song made up entirely of the word "bullshit" say something serious about the post-heroic age?

What the world needs now is a shining hero! What the world needed back then was something else I guess, cause only like five people saw this. Into the blue for crissake!

Friday, April 8, 2016

ONE SHOT - Star Wars: Rogue One

Well, the audio gods were not kind to us this week and ate our episode. It was totally going to be sweet too, you woulda loved it. Oh well!

Instead we decided to roll out a new feature we're going to have from time to time, the No Time for Heroics ONE SHOT!

These'll be just a brief discussion on anything that doesn't fit the format of the show, but that we think you might like anyway.

And what better way to start with Andrew and Anthony sitting down to watch the new trailer for Star Wars: Rogue One!

Enjoy! Barring more smiting, we'll be back to your regular programming next week.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Episode 36 - Turbo-Teen (1984)

On this episode, Andrew gets to realize a lifelong ambition and prove that the short-lived 1984 cult(?) cartoon Turbo-Teen actually existed! Spoilers? It did.

Did anyone remember this show existed except for Andrew and David Willis? How good a scientist was Charles Bronson? Has there ever, EVER in the history of television been a better title on an episode than 'Dark Rider and the Wolves of Doom'?  What does the reality of a boy who IS his car say about our own awareness of the self and extended cognition in the context of vehicular operation?

Thanks to this episode, No Time for Heroics broke the world record for most mentions of Robot Man and Friends on a podcast! One! Join us for a who's who of obscure '80s cartoon references, and a special appearance by Ronald Reagan!

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Episode 35 - Man of Steel (2013)

On this episode we get to torture Andrew by making him once again watch 2013's DC cinematic universe founding slobbery smish-fest, Man of Steel!

Is it possible to make a good Superman movie without a superhero in it? Does it add a lot to Jor El's character to have him do HALO drops from a dragon (electric guitar squeal)? And speaking of Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, could it be a better idea to just debut a universe of familiar heroes in two movies rather than stretch it out for five or six of varying quality?

All this, plus a movie that dislikes Superman makes the best Superman injoke ever made! PS: We're spoiling Miracleman for you this episode too, amongst the usual stuff we spoil every episode. One thing we haven't spoiled? Spoiler, who got killed by a power drill. Oh, shoot...

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Episode 34 - Iron Man 2 (2010)

The guys polish off Marvel Phase One with Iron Man 2!

How the hell does the presence of a single, highly assassinateable superhero result in total world peace? Wouldn't you be in a lot more trouble than this movie seems to think if your blood was 56% something other than blood? Could we not have had an awesome garagepunk, Mythbusters-esque scene of Tony Stark inventing failed cures until finally finding the right one instead of a Walt Disney ex machina? Do these movies have a grudge with Gwyneth Paltrow, or just girls in general?

All that and the No Time for Heroics winning fight prediction between Mike Tyson vs a Car. Plus, Where do you rank Iron Man 2 in the Marvel Phase One Scale? The No Time for Heroics answer might surprise you!

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Episode 33 - The Adventures of Captain Marvel (1941)

No Time for Heroics is going back to the source and checking out the first superhero to ever make the leap from page to screen in 1941's The Adventures of Captain Marvel.

What's the theology of an American superhero with Judeo-Hellenic powers coming from an Egyptian tomb in Siam? What do Billy Batson's friends and Downton Abbey have in common? Have we improved on superhero movies in the last seventy years since this came out? Oh man, what if we haven't? There's suddenly a lot of pressure on this episode. Yikes.

I'll be back in a sec, I've gotta go deliver this scorpion to the Scorpion. He's over on the peak of the Scorpion. Hope he doesn't get stung. It's bee season.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Episode 32 - Catwoman (2004) with The Loose Canon Podcast

On this episode, Caroline Fulford of the Loose Canon Podcast is here to calmly talk us down off the ledge we got out on when we accidentally caught sight of 2004's Halle Berry-starring Catwoman.

Is this Catwoman just a closet Cosmo Sex Tip writer? Could a thesis based entirely on immortal magical cat magic stand up to peer review? Is the moral of this story that women can never truly be free of patriarchy unless they get superpowers? And why the hell is this the only female-centric superhero movie of the twenty-first century?

Only the host of Loose Canon can helps us survive the most loosely canonical movie of them all!

Plus: Anthony uses Catwoman to curse his friends! WHAT A PAL.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Episode 31 - The Incredibles (2004)

FANTASTIC FEBRUARY comes to a close with what's been called the best Fantastic Four movie yet made, 2004's Fantastic Fourless The Incredibles!

Is it possible to do a classic, upbeat superhero movie that isn't set decades ago? What do Syndrome and Kylo Ren have in common? Is Brad Bird a closet Objectivist?Does this movie have the most subtle takedown of stereotypical gender roles we've seen?

Join us for perhaps the most in-depth episode into what makes a superhero tick that we've had on the show. Plus: Anthony likes a CG movie? No probably not!

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Episode 30 - Fant4stic Four (2015)

On this third installment of Fantastic February, Mark Denine from Escape Quest joins us as we slog through the movie that leeches all sense of the fantastic out of the world, 2015's Fant4stic Four.

Why does everyone look down and pout when they are being addressed? Is Dr. Doom made cooler and more hip because he's been transformed from the norm by the nuclear goop?  Could Sue Storm be almost as good as Anthony at Mike Tyson's Punch-Out? Speaking of which, has Anthony ever been this angry about a movie before?

This is a rough one, folks, taking our heroes to the very brink of sanity, stamina and sad-sackery. But make sure to listen till the end of the episode for a special escape room offer from Escape Quest for No Time for Heroics listeners! At least there's some good to come out of this thing...

Check Out Escape Quest right here!

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Episode 29 - Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

For the next quarter-portion of FANTASTIC FEBRUARY, we're taking a close look at the movie that stopped it all, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer!

Being a sequel in which Revelations about the Rise cause a Revolution, which leads to a Fall. Of the franchise. Will there be a Return? or a Revenge of? No.

Why are the preposterous contact lenses on Sue Storm the least objectionably sexist thing about her character? Is adapting Galactus as a featureless cloud just the cinematic equivalent of Wite-Out? And we agree with Johnny, how DO Thing and Alicia... y'know...

Charge up your satellite dish and beam this episode to your PDA, cause it's the FUTURE damnit! And we've got to get all this science stuff done before all the women folk make us get married. HURRY!

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Episode 28 - The Fantastic Four (1994)

This episode we launch FANTASTIC FEBRUARY a month of mighty (and minor) Marvel movies featuring the first family of funnybooks. And let me tell you, we've got a few Things to watch.

We're starting with the movie that failed to start it all, the 1994 unreleased, Roger Corman produced The Fantastic Four!

Have we uncovered a B-movie Marvel Cinematic Universe shared between this and Captain America II: Death too Soon? Why hasn't anyone done Police Academy: Xavier's School for Mutants yet? And let's be honest... how much better would this movie had been if Reed married Doom at the end?

We've got four big episodes featuring the fouringest heroes around! Check us out on facebook, and remember to help out the show by rating and reviewing it on whatever platform you found us!

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Episode 27 - Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

On this episode film and media scholar Jill Butler joins us to check in with our ol' Uncle Sam, and see who must surely be the most primary Avenger of them all in Captain America: The First Avenger!

Is this the only superhero movie in this so-called golden age of superhero movies with damn superhero in it? What's with all this Hydra stuff? Weren't there some other bad guys we were fighting back then? #notmyworldwarII. And hey Marvel what's wrong? Not MAN enough to call your Cosmic Cube a Cosmic Cube?

Do you want to kill Nazis? Well too bad, there aren't any in this movie. We asked for an army, and all we got was yeeu. All we got was EEEEEyoooooo. Sorry, I've been trying to say it like Tommy Lee Jones all night and it's just not happening.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Episode 26 - Generation X (1996)

Someone figure out the secret of the ooze, because No Time for Heroics is diving face first into a pile of mutant madness with the very first X-Men movie!

No, not that one. This ain't yer snikty-bamf X-Men, okay? This is the grungy, angsty, you-don't-understand-me-dad teen X-Men featured in Fox's movie of the week 1996's Generation X!

Did Matt Frewer just eye Jim Carrey's career and say "Why not me?" Did the screenwriters just eye Jim Carrey in Batman Forever and say "Why not us?" Did Jim Carrey ever eye this scene where Jubilee has to strip to get a body scan and say "Why the hell is this scene happening?" Cause that's what we did.

Okay, this isn't the "first" X-Men movie, but it certainly has the seed of that idea. You might say, it was the... inception of an X-Men franchise. In fact you could say following up on this movie was a dream crime. Or that it was starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Except that last part.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Episode 25 - Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) with Star Wars Minute!

Welcome to Star-Lord Minute. It's the super-sized titanic cosmic team-up show, as No Time for Heroics welcomes Star Wars Minute hosts Pete the Retailer and Alex Robinson to discuss the most superheroic space opera of them all, 2014's Guardians of the Galaxy!

Could the planet Morag be in the same star system as the forest moon of Endor? Will we ever get closer than this to seeing a movie staring Eson the Searcher? Is Thanos ever going to get out of that chair he's been in for a dozen movies now?

All this and the true identity of Star-Lord's father! Then, head over to Star Wars Minute and listen to Pete and Alex bravely match wits with Jar Jar Binks as they tackle the Star Wars Prequels. They fight so we don't have to!